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Ireth Aldarion

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[12 Dec 2003|05:25pm]
Hey folks... guess what? I'm taking shameless advantage of the changed rules here at Livejournal! My new username- i_aldarion. ADD ME! ^^

(2 ?)

Dear Journal: [11 Dec 2003|12:31pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Still sick. Getting sicker, because I haven't been able to keep things down. No fever, just nausea. I don't even want food anymore. >.< No, and no stiff neck either (beyond my usual) so this isn't the flu that's been killing everyone. It's just a flu that SUCKS!

Have been having much time to hang out with the kitten and mutter incoherently at passerby on the internet... took a long hot bath yesterday... hmm, have been trying to drink plenty of fluids. Grmph.

Mark- is there any time that'd be good for me to make up that quiz that I missed today? If so, could you let me know?

Got a new book from mum. Think I accidentally kicked it off of the bed last night XD It's now lying on the floor, begging to be read... and as no one is talking to me, I might go do just that. Ireth here, over and out.

(2 ?)

[09 Dec 2003|07:03pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Welll... ok, a lot happened, suppose I should chronicle it. I just realized, however, that it should be put first behind an LJ cut, so I don't crowd the Friend's pages.

Read more...Collapse )

(2 ?)

Contemplating... [06 Dec 2003|12:28pm]
[ mood | fiery ]

Over the last few hours, I've come to understand someone much more deeply... someone I look up to very much, and in a very platonic way, love. This person's everything that I'm too afraid to be- outgoing, overwhelmingly artistic, loud, brilliant, beautiful.

It really inspires me to read about the spiritual revolutions of someone (anyone, really, if it is heartfelt), and today I've read a few, and last night I dreamed about it, I think. It's inspiring me to again re-evaluate myself, to go through stuff that I've been avoiding...

I really, really wish that I had the space to do it. It's one of those things that's going to take outdoors, isolation, a tent, a camp stove, and supplies. I can't do this around people, I can't do this around technology. I need to find myself... I would rather do it in the winter, because it is such a time for peace, contemplation, and admittedly, a major motivation? No bugs!

Perhaps I can get mum to take me some place for part of christmas vacation... not the actual two days, mind, but for some of the time before that. Wonder how much we have off?

I feel stuff welling inside of me... I have for the past half-year or so. Something's ready to shift, I'm ready to shed off the shell I'm currently wearing, like a snake... I'm ready to moult, I suppose. It's time to shed off this skin that's become too tight and dry and constricting, that's obscuring my vision and my breathing.

I need to find a space to do this.

I need help, I need a place to be in solitude in the middle of fucking nowhere. I need supplies- a camp stove, recommendations on good food to bring, on what clothes and materials to bring to keep myself from freezing, a good tent and ground tarp, and someone to check in on me once a day to make sure that I haven't killed myself.
Need someone to teach me how to use a camp stove, too.

So- anyone reading this... this is a cry for help! I need help with any of this, any thoughts you might have, any recommendations. It's time.

(4 ?)

You know you're a geek when... [01 Dec 2003|07:37am]
At breakfast, you make TIE fighters out of your vitamins.


And while I'm at it, a little shameless self-promotion... [30 Nov 2003|12:14pm]
[ mood | blank ]


New LOTR RPG, lemme know here (AIM: weirpgmod ) if you want to learn more/join.


Ow? [30 Nov 2003|10:47am]
[ mood | sad ]

Did the whole Thanksgiving thing... was bored to tears... it's no fun when there's no one there that's either your approximate age, or that you get along with (that's either older or younger than you). It was... well, thoroughly depressing and lonely.
But! The food was excellent, and my baklava went over very well, everyone loved it! ^.^ They also loved my cranberry sauce and cranberry relish... mm, I love making things that actually look edible. Never buy that canned stuff, man, it's so easy to make it way better than the can... cinnamon, sugar, and nutmeg to taste. *grin*
Since then, I've been just kind of hanging out at home, and stalling on my homework, because I can't seem to get up the energy to do it. I can't seem to get up the energy to do much of anything, I've been pretty depressed lately. I did a "cleansing" excercise last night that someone recommended to me, though, and I think it might have done me some good. See, my thing is that I soak up other people's vibes like a sponge. Sucks. Someone taught me how to let go of them, release them out of my body, sort of. I do feel a lot lighter today, even though I'm still depressed... but at least now I know it's just my own shit that I'm dealing with, and not everyone else's too.
Or at least I hope so.

Other good news... I'd been having bad dreams about my melisse getting tired of me and leaving me lately, but no such thing. I finally talked to her about it and she asked if I was crazy. ^-^ That was reassuring. That's another thing off of my chest.

I'm on another grief kick, though... I miss my dad... but it's less the missing, and now the purging of the pain that I've been carrying for these last 2, almost 3 years now. Not so long in the grand scheme of things, I suppose, but to be in pain that long? Yeah, it's a long time. I know it'll keep on going, but... ah, some days it'd be nice to just have done with it.
Not that I'd ever want to forget my dad! NEVER!
But some days I could just do without the pain... it's been sitting in my chest like a cancer, just... eating and eating, etching away bits of me like acid. Ow. I need to cry, I guess, but it never gets rid of all of it... and I just end up hurting more.


[26 Nov 2003|10:05pm]
[ mood | blah ]

And now that the ick post is over... I, um, made baklava today. It's good. I'm bringing it with me to thanksgiving tomorrow. Thanksgiving promises to be one of those days in which I am bored to tears... but you know what? The food is some of the best that I will have all year, so I'm going to go. I love the food, and it'll give me some time to be with my little brother and sister, which I don't often have. Good stuff. ^^

(4 ?)

I hurt. [26 Nov 2003|10:04pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

Feeling so lonely lately... so empty. Feel like my insides just dumped themselves on their head again, and I just... feel sick, and tired, and sad.


[23 Nov 2003|11:41pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

feeling really super-depressed today, though I'm not sure why... quite possibly is PMS, but even if it isn't, it sucks. I'm on one of those wicked lonely and sad and miserable trips...
Maybe it'll clear up once I have a day to myself, though, without the family in the house driving me nuts. (As weird as it sounds, when I'm lonely it's better to have the family out. Because I don't like being around them, and it just makes me feel worse. I love them, but I don't like being around them. Hard to explain.)
These last two days, I have felt as if I was on the verge of tears. My sleeping is erratic and strange and uncomfortable. I constantly have headaches that don't go away. I feel... emotionally anemic. Like someone stuck a straw in my chest and just sucked it all out. It might go away with some sleep and good food though, so again, we'll see.
Went shopping today, got good food for myself for this week and supplies for baklava (mmmm!)
Kay (a new friend) is visiting tomorrow, and we shall play music together.
What else... ah, yes, saw Cat In The Hat today, and... hmm. I'm not sure I liked it. Not really. Oh well.

What was good about today? Got my cooking supplies... uh...got some time alone in the house before my family got back... uh...
damn. Not much else.

Ah well, that's it for now, folks. I'll find something better to say about everything tomorrow, promise ^.^


Neat ^.^ [20 Nov 2003|04:05pm]
[ mood | calm ]

My Senshi Colors Are:

Silver: Powerful, Intuitive, Self-Aware

Brown: Practical, Intelligent, Stable

Get Your Senshi Colors At SailorOrion.com

And now that I'm done with my quizzes for the day... :-P

This week has been kinda hard, and my sleep schedule has been funked again. But despite that, I'm in a good mood right now. I think I'm finally not sick anymore, or at least, I'm not sick enough to feel sick XD. I do have a lot of make up work to do, but I think I'll be able to plow through it this next week('s vacation!)- I think I'll do it when I go to work with mom. I'm going to see what sort of colors I need, I'm going to do an Art piece for her. I'm thinking newspaper, acrylics, and wire, in a (mostly) 2-d composition. I'm going to smudge the paint on the newspaper.

Any suggestions, anyone, on what sort of paint that I should use? I don't know if acrylics are the right choice for that. Oh! And what should I use for glaze? I'm sort of new to this "art" stuff (lol), and since mom's professional, I don't want it to look like shit.

I tried a couple of times to make a hat, but I'm not very good at the alternating stitching yet- I decided on a scarf instead, for now, with the same stitch-pattern. Once I master it (which I will, by the end of a scarf ^^) I shall take on the hat again. The scarf is easier because there's less distance that one has to retrace on a row, if one screws up the stitching and has to correct it. (If it's not precise, it looks mangled XD)

What else... oh, my math teacher Aaron likes Switchblade Symphony ^^ I lent him one of my CDs...

And speaking of math! Does anyone want to help me with this story I have to write? Please?


[12 Nov 2003|11:15pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Become a God or Goddess. by zerogirl
God/Goddess ofDarkness
Animal Companion:White tiger
Weak againstWater
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

I liked that one so much that I had to keep it...

In other news, I'm still sick. My cough was improving, but took a major down-turn today and by 6th period I was unable to function properly and my chest hurt because I'd been coughing so much. So I got mom to pick me up and went home. >.< I'm getting so behind... I need the rest, but... >.< And the worst part is, I'm so fried right now (especially with this nuclear cough med they had to give me) I can't even do my homework that I *did* get. Oi.

...*flops* Not much else to say... I miss uncle Geoff, though.


Hehe [09 Nov 2003|11:10pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

You write angst, angst, and more angst. For you, a
story isn't a story unless someone gets
molested/tortured/humiliated/abused. That's
okay, though; nobody writes angst better than
you! Not only that, but your plotlines, however
dark, are quite often very original. Those who
can stomach what you dish out will gladly
attest to your greatness and brilliance. Some
might even call you a god! A rather cruel god,
but a god nonetheless. Your writing is probably
hauntingly beautiful, and someone who's read
your stuff will never forget it.

What Kind of Fanfiction Writer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


It says I'm unique, but I take quizzes anyways... huh? [09 Nov 2003|12:01pm]
[ mood | amused ]

People like you becuase you&apos;re unique!
What attracts people to you?

brought to you by Quizilla

(1 ?)

'nother silly quiz [04 Nov 2003|11:49pm]
Dark Mask
You are a Dark Mask, the fourth class of vampire.
You can adapt easily to any climate and
situation. Your servants are few, mostly
because you choose not to sire others. Your
chief ability is shiftery-- you can become
anyone or anything. Overall, you are a great
person. Keep us guessing.

What class of vampire are you? (more new images!)
brought to you by Quizilla

...mmkay... now that that's out of the way... have spent most of my last three days with my uncle Geoff <3! I'm so happy he's here, he just is great to be around! He's sweet, and fun, and smart, and funny, and yeah, I'm glad to have him here, he doesn't visit enough! (he's only 8 years older than me... I'm 8 years older than my brother Wes. o.0 same age difference)
So anyways... yeah. Neatness! So happy! It has been very good times...
I miss my melisse though, I haven't seen much of her lately... ;_;

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